The Wait is Over

Let me offer up another excuse for not blogging. Uh... My dog ate it. Actually, my neighbor's dog ate it. I mean, just look at her, hiding her guilt:

I can't blame an innocent dog. The truth lies somewhere between fever, an aching back and depression.

Depression: So, I didn't get the apprenticeship. I'm sure it was a highly competitive program, but I really thought I could nail it. I don't have the "industry experience" to get a mid-level job and it seems that most entry-level positions have direct channels from film schools these days. Honestly, though, I don't feel that a 40K job warrants a 100K film school education. I'm "self-taught." Most people think I studied film in school, even film professors who work at the school from which I got my French degree. That's right, I have a degree in French. Remember the scene in "Groundhog Day" in which Rita (Andie MacDowell) admits that she has a degree in French? I believe Phil's (Bill Murray) response is, "Ha! What a waste of time! I mean... for someone else that would be an incredible waste of time. How... bold... of you to choose that..."

Yeah. Though I won't say it was a "waste of time," I also wouldn't say it was a "bold" choice. I did get to live in France and it comes in handy whenever I go to Cannes. However, recruiters do not value my broadened horizons as much as I do. They pretty much take Phil's point of view. I am 100% self-taught. I have never taken a software course, nor have I taken a film production course. And still, I've had films in most major film festivals. I've won awards and prizes and have made dozens of short films. I've taught myself After Effects, ZBrush and Maya (which is no small feat). I've taught myself how to shoot, edit and composite films. Yet I can't get a job in film! Honestly, I think the self-discipline it takes to do all of this on one's own far outweighs the production formulas one gleans from a film studies degree. What it doesn't outweigh is the connections or the standard VFX demo reel involving some sci-fi character walking down a city street, blowing something up and then flying away. Seriously, do a demo reel search someday...

Aching back: yeah, I frakked up my back. That's why there was no frakking blogging from Comic Con. I couldn't carry even my micro laptop. Though I did score a big frakkin bag:

Big frakkin bag

Told you.

Fever: People are fond of saying "everything happens for a reason." Have you ever noticed that people only say this when bad stuff happens? Many people tried to reassure me that I didn't get this job for a reason (of course there was a reason, I'm just not convinced that it was a good one).

They estimate that close to 200,000 people attended Comic Con this year. I was holed up with them for four days. I wasn't too surprised to return with a viral infection (though it got a little scary and still might be lingering). Honestly, I couldn't move my eyes or look at a computer monitor. I did think it would be rather freaky to be alone in a new city (especially one as crazy as L.A.), vying for a highly competitive job with a 101 degree fever and uncertain health insurance status. Oh yeah, and then have to go through an earthquake on my second day there... Okay, maybe I'm a little happy I didn't get the job.

The Waiting Game

So, I thought I would give my blog readers a little glimpse of what I have been going through over the past few weeks (and offering up yet another excuse for blog slacking). Last week, I applied for an apprenticeship at Rhythm & Hues Studios in Los Angeles. It would be an amazing opportunity to get some experience on the professional "industry" side of filmmaking (uncharted territory for me), and potentially continue on to more industry projects. Don't get me wrong, I've loved working on indie projects and my own work (which falls into the realm of "avant-garde"), but a girl's got to pay the rent. I'd also like more of my challenges to be creative and collaborative- "doing things" rather than "finding work outside of my day job," which seems to be my big challenge after leaving New York. In fact, I'd say that is the greatest challenge when it comes to independent filmmaking, no matter what your role: finding work, finding money, finding talent, finding locations, finding time, finding finding finding... it's miraculous that DIY films can even get finished, let alone end up "good." This apprenticeship is specifically geared toward texture painting, which an obsessive, observant person like myself actually loves doing (for example: though I love the stories and the animation of both Ratatouille and WALL*E, I just couldn't get over how cool the tiled kitchen floors and blocks of trash looked). It would also be perfect timing, as the apprenticeship starts the day after Comic-Con ends, giving me plenty of time to drive straight from San Diego to Los Angeles without flying back to Denver. I pumped up my demo reel to (hopefully) highlight my texture painting abilities. I offer the new, improved version below. Sorry about the bad censor box. I don't want the world to have my phone number, though. :)

It took me a couple of solid weeks of work to get my demo reel, application, resume and cover letter all in order. I dropped it in the mailbox last Monday and waited. And waited. And I'm still waiting. I leave for Comic-Con tomorrow morning at 5:00 AM and I still don't know if I should be packing for three days or three weeks! The frustrating part is that it's not as simple as "you haven't heard yet, just assume it's not happening, kid." The postmark deadline for the application was only a week ago, meaning applications might still even be trickling in! They've really only had a few days to look at all of the submissions. Cutting it close...

But still, until my flight leaves tomorrow or I hear back from the studio, I'm holding on to that slight possibility of getting my foot in that oft-closed door that is the film industry.

(edit: posted later. Not sure why it didn't post the day I wrote it)