We now return to our regularly scheduled program: I do not like being mean to people, but I will be, if necessary. Several times in my life, this has resulted in my being taken advantage of until I have had enough and scream at someone. This comes as such a shock to the people taking advantage that I am immediately labeled as a "bitch." As in, "man, I thought she was nice. Then she yelled at me for repeatedly hitting her in the head, even though that was fine last week. What a bitch, that bitch." And so forth.

Unfortunately, the one woman capable of giving me a refund was the only person who had been kind to me at all: Unfinished Sentences Woman. I tried to hold back my true feelings, knowing full well that she was not the one to blame, and having sobered up entirely from my earlier pint of wine. Still, I was very unhappy. When I approached the front desk, she was all smiles.

"Oh..." she happily began, clearly expecting me to praise the springs. "Yeah, hi," I curtly replied. "Um... what are the chances of my checking out now and getting a refund?" "Oh... are... um... oh...." "This just isn't what I expected." "Oh... I'm sorry... I... oh..." "I was just expecting something a little more relaxing. It's like Mardi Gras down there." "Oh... yes... it is spring break." "Oh? I wasn't aware that this was a popular spring break destination." "Oh... I... sure... I'm very sorry. Yes... we can give you a refund."

The fretting on her part continued, replacing my irritation at the situation with stomach turning guilt. Although I assured her that I would be fine to travel back to Boulder, she insisted on setting me up somewhere else in the vicinity. I just wanted to leave Mount Princeton as far behind me as possible, despite the fact that heading back to Boulder would involve my driving through the night. However, sleep did sound tempting and I could tell that it meant a lot to her to try to right the situation, so I let her.

She called Lloyd's Bed and Breakfast down the street. They just happened to have one open room, which they agreed to give me at a discount. After much apologizing, "umming" and "ohing," I parted ways with Unfinished Sentences woman and headed to Lloyd's. Well, I headed about two miles in the wrong direction. Then I headed to Lloyd's.

As I passed Mt. Princeton Hot Springs resort, I had to slow down and swerve around an object in the middle of the road. As my headlights illuminated the dark shape, I recognized it as a pair of swimming trunks. Somewhere on Mount Princeton, a naked teenager was streaking through the forest.